At this year’s annual conference of the National Association for College Admission Counseling in Baltimore, a number of books were recommended for parents including “The Panicked Parents’ Guide to College Admissions” by Sally Rubenstone and Sidonia Dalby. Now, I haven’t read this book or the other books that were recommended, but I do agree that it is important for parents to be in a strong position to support their child through the admissions process. I have some initial suggestions on how parents can help their child in the application process.

- Firstly, it’s important for parents to ensure they understand the process, so that they can support their child during the course of the process. So, I usually recommend that parents come to at least the first one to two sessions to enable them to understand why the counselor or admissions consultant is working in a specific way. I provide a free, 1 hour guidance session for parents, which can also be used to share this type of information

- Parents can leverage time with the counselor or admissions consultant to explain extenuating family situations that maybe putting extra pressure on their child. This information can help the counselor create an effective working style and workplan to help the applicant. Even if there aren’t any extenuating circumstances, parents can provide valuable feedback on how their child works best, what motivates them, what de-motivates them etc.

- Parents can help with a lot of administrative details – requesting brochures, downloading information, setting up appointments etc. This can save the applicant time and help them focus on absorbing the information they will ultimately need.

- For overworked applicants, the parents can serve as a project manager, helping the applicant keep track of their work plan and deadlines. Before taking over the role of project manager, ensure your child is comfortable with this and if they are not then find someone else who could be a good project manager – perhaps an elder sibling?

- Parents can be a great source of factual information. Sometimes applicants underestimate what they have done or are unable to recall facts and a parent can serve as an additional source of information to ensure that the counselor or admissions consultant gains a complete picture of the applicant’s background.

And what about things not to do?

- Admissions offices want to hear from the applicant, not the parent.

- Parents should not take over writing essays – it will become obvious at some stage in the admissions process that the applicant did not write the essay and it will end up hurting the applicant.

- Parents should not take over the research process – it’s important that the applicant understand the nuances of the program and university they are thinking of going to so they can make good choices about where to apply and also ultimately where to  go.

- Don’t be too involved or too distant- it’s really a fine balance! Being too distance from the process is also not good as it is likely that your child will come to you at questions at some stage and want to be able to provide them with accurate information and advice.